Felt incredibly disjointed today. I have been feeling particularly emotionally vulnerable for weeks, but I was still able to be productive and tap into some creative clarity. Today, though, I felt off. I am not sure what the
feeling is... Unease? Irritability? It left me feeling distracted, without focus, antsy. Is this some culmination of the last few weeks?
I find it purposeful to try and tap into the reason, the trigger, for this manifestation of energy. I have discovered that grounding is necessary to my clarity, creativity and productivity. I have had a decent morning routine that includes exercise, getting outside, meditation, and specific grounding exercises. For some reason, I fell out of this routine about a week ago. I wonder, did I fall out of the routine because of how I have been feeling? Or, am I feeling so overwhelmed today because those habits were keeping me from this point? I guess that answer doesn’t really matter in the end. Today, I was reminded of how important these habits are in my life, to my productivity and creativity.
I sat here, at my laptop, trying to formulate thoughts, prioritize ideas, but I was so overwhelmed by how I was feeling, I was paralyzed. Overthinking my work. Overthinking relationships. Overthinking my “purpose” in life. At that moment, I was compelled to go outside where I have spent many mornings over the last few months; my back porch. I immediately found a meditation from The Mindful Movement called Come Home to Your True Self. It was precisely the meditation I needed, addressing quite succinctly all the stuff I was feeling. This, of course, was incredibly synchronistic as I didn’t have to go looking. It literally popped up first in my feed. I knew it was meant for me when I saw the title. The notion of feeling called home is a thing for me. I will write about that another time.
It was a 20-minute meditation, and it definitely felt good to work on re-centering with my bare feet flat on the ground and the sun on my face. It was work, though. My thoughts scattered me over and over again. It was a start. I felt a bit of a release, so I sat again at my workspace. Nothing. Nothing purposeful, anyway. Again, I was called outside. This time, I was guided to lay in the grass. So I did. I found a sunny spot, with my arms folded behind my head, and my face feeling the warmth of the sun. I was there for at least 20 minutes. I set the intention of releasing unwanted energy, all that was not serving me, into the earth to be transmuted. I asked for the earth’s peaceful, nurturing energy to take its place. As I lay there, I almost drifted to sleep, hearing the buzz of bees and breeze in the trees, and all the stuff exited my head. All the thoughts that had cluttered my mind were gone. I was just there. I could have stayed there for hours. Maybe I should have.
When I came inside, I felt the need to lay down for a nap. This overthinking has affected my rest for weeks, and I think I recognized an opportunity to sleep for a bit without being awakened by the noise in my head. It worked. It was a short nap, but I drifted off quickly and awoke slowly. I woke with renewed clarity and immediately recognized that my living and work space needed a cleanse and reboot, too. (I don’t call it home because it doesn’t feel like it. Also for that other post.) I made my way around my space with some white sage and some Palo Santo and set similar intentions as those I set as I lay in the grass. I felt a heaviness lift that I hadn’t allowed myself to recognize.
And all of this brings me to this point. Sitting here and writing this. Of all the things I could be writing about...here I am.
Why is all of this significant?
Because it is important to recognize that we have way more power, more control over our lives than we want to accept. This isn’t about taking something away from God. Each of us is OF the Divine, and when we tap into our center, we are tapping into Divine Light that is present in each of us and waiting to be ignited. God is not something “out there.” God is within us and waiting to be acknowledged as such.
Because Mother Nature is our direct link to all things Divine. Grounding practices are crucial to our spiritual health. Our physical, mental, and emotional health are merely reflections of our spiritual health and serve to make us aware.
Because mindfulness and meditation open our hearts and minds (and ultimately our Third Eye) to the messages and lessons and the quiet meant just for us.
Because feeling our feelings is necessary. And, we cannot get lost in them. Just as the mind will always wander during meditation, we will always have feelings we need to witness, to feel. We must, however, have regular habits that will prevent us from getting lost, being buried.
For me, today was about listening to that voice within reminding me, “you got this. You know what to do.”
I hope this Divine spark within me might serve to spark the Divine within you.
Love and Light to you today and always.